So here is my issue I was down to 154.8 pounds Friday morning and so because of that weight I started to spazz out emotionally. I freaked out for multiple reasons.
First, of all it means I have almost lost 100 pounds since June, which if you were dieting this would be a good thing but I am not dieting so for me this is a bad thing.
Second, the jeans I was wearing Friday were loose, once again I realize for most people this is not an issue but for me it was because I had just bought them a few weeks ago and they were waist size 32". Which means more money wasted buying smaller clothes. By the way, I am now a size 30" waist, how frikin crazy is that!!!! Overall I find the whole buying new clothes that fit thing very frustrating and would probably just keep wearing my old clothes but for some reason their poor fit makes me very itchy/squirmy (very scientific terms I know).
Third, The weight loss is completely out of my control. Which is just a reminder that there are so many things going on in my life that are out of my control. I have tried varying my diet, limiting calories, increasing calories, eating less fat, eating more carbs, nutritional supplements, shakes, blanding, and so Friday I tried something new...
So I had this bright idea (meaning not a bright idea) last night. I would just go eat a bunch of calories, thus stopping my weight loss in its tracks. I was of course aware that it would be painful to eat "normal" food, but what choice did I have (rhetorical question)? So I really splurged having a grilled chicken breast sandwich with tomato, mozzarella, and pesto spread. It came with fries and I had ice cream for desert. Result .... oh my son of a motherless goat!
So I came home and took some heavy duty pain medicine (dilaudid), which took 4 hours to work (something is wrong with me...I have been trying to tell them but you know...they dont listen). Didn't sleep well and I am exhausted today.
But .....drum roll....long drum roll....I didn't lose any weight yesterday! VICTORY is mine...not really, but I'm going to pretend like I won so I don't get depressed and cry.
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| The place with great food that causes me much pain. |
Second, the jeans I was wearing Friday were loose, once again I realize for most people this is not an issue but for me it was because I had just bought them a few weeks ago and they were waist size 32". Which means more money wasted buying smaller clothes. By the way, I am now a size 30" waist, how frikin crazy is that!!!! Overall I find the whole buying new clothes that fit thing very frustrating and would probably just keep wearing my old clothes but for some reason their poor fit makes me very itchy/squirmy (very scientific terms I know).
Third, The weight loss is completely out of my control. Which is just a reminder that there are so many things going on in my life that are out of my control. I have tried varying my diet, limiting calories, increasing calories, eating less fat, eating more carbs, nutritional supplements, shakes, blanding, and so Friday I tried something new...
| Love the mural and large booth, fits all six of us well. |
So I had this bright idea (meaning not a bright idea) last night. I would just go eat a bunch of calories, thus stopping my weight loss in its tracks. I was of course aware that it would be painful to eat "normal" food, but what choice did I have (rhetorical question)? So I really splurged having a grilled chicken breast sandwich with tomato, mozzarella, and pesto spread. It came with fries and I had ice cream for desert. Result .... oh my son of a motherless goat!
So I came home and took some heavy duty pain medicine (dilaudid), which took 4 hours to work (something is wrong with me...I have been trying to tell them but you know...they dont listen). Didn't sleep well and I am exhausted today.
But .....drum roll....long drum roll....I didn't lose any weight yesterday! VICTORY is mine...not really, but I'm going to pretend like I won so I don't get depressed and cry.
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