They say the truth will set you free ... but from what?
DawnMarie and I went into Manhattan today to see a gastroenterology and nutrition specialist at Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center (SKCC). I made the appointment because my weight is still decreasing and I'm scared of what the consequences of the decrease will be. The day started out rough because I took some pain medicine yesterday and it gave me insomnia (it usually does), which means I only got three hours of sleep last night (by the way I hate taking pain medicine).
The train ride into Manhattan was filled with anticipation and as we approached the East River Tunnel it began to snow. We emerged from the labyrinth of corridors that make up Penn Station onto the corner of 7th and 32nd to visions of a snowy wonderland, a wonderland in which we had a mission. First, pick up copies of my August MRI from NYU Langone ($50). Second, head over to SKCC. Third, pick up Keegan an American Girl Doll, I know it is a little extravagant but I was feeling hope filled and generous. Fourth, go home with a plan on how to move forward.
Turns out the snow was only pretty from the train and once we had walked to NYU I was cold and starting to get wet (clearly that walk will have to be reserved for sunny summer days). We picked up the MRI Cd's and caught a cab, by hailing it like they do in the movies...that was pretty cool! After going through the requisite insurance paperwork we spent an hour relaxing in the cafeteria before going to the appointment and meeting with one of Dr. Mendelsohn's partners who spent an hour with us going through my history, my labs, my scans, my pain, and doing an exam.
Then came the specialist who entered the room looking focused, like she was about to give me bad news. And it was bad news. It is her opinion that the pain I am experiencing is not pancreatic in nature and is instead the ECD, which is somehow being exacerbated by eating.
Solution suggested, "try taking the pain medicine all day and see if that helps". Are you kidding me!!!! I am 37 years old, I can't be in pain the rest of my life every time I eat! Needless to say I did not stop to get a doll. DawnMarie wanted to talk with me after the appointment but I just wanted to go home.
Hopes dashed. Solution unacceptable. Truth sucks.
DawnMarie and I went into Manhattan today to see a gastroenterology and nutrition specialist at Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center (SKCC). I made the appointment because my weight is still decreasing and I'm scared of what the consequences of the decrease will be. The day started out rough because I took some pain medicine yesterday and it gave me insomnia (it usually does), which means I only got three hours of sleep last night (by the way I hate taking pain medicine).
The train ride into Manhattan was filled with anticipation and as we approached the East River Tunnel it began to snow. We emerged from the labyrinth of corridors that make up Penn Station onto the corner of 7th and 32nd to visions of a snowy wonderland, a wonderland in which we had a mission. First, pick up copies of my August MRI from NYU Langone ($50). Second, head over to SKCC. Third, pick up Keegan an American Girl Doll, I know it is a little extravagant but I was feeling hope filled and generous. Fourth, go home with a plan on how to move forward.
Turns out the snow was only pretty from the train and once we had walked to NYU I was cold and starting to get wet (clearly that walk will have to be reserved for sunny summer days). We picked up the MRI Cd's and caught a cab, by hailing it like they do in the movies...that was pretty cool! After going through the requisite insurance paperwork we spent an hour relaxing in the cafeteria before going to the appointment and meeting with one of Dr. Mendelsohn's partners who spent an hour with us going through my history, my labs, my scans, my pain, and doing an exam.
Then came the specialist who entered the room looking focused, like she was about to give me bad news. And it was bad news. It is her opinion that the pain I am experiencing is not pancreatic in nature and is instead the ECD, which is somehow being exacerbated by eating.
Solution suggested, "try taking the pain medicine all day and see if that helps". Are you kidding me!!!! I am 37 years old, I can't be in pain the rest of my life every time I eat! Needless to say I did not stop to get a doll. DawnMarie wanted to talk with me after the appointment but I just wanted to go home.
Hopes dashed. Solution unacceptable. Truth sucks.
Prayers to you, strength to get you through, I love you.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry you had to receive bad news in an already bad situation. Best wishes to you and your family.
ReplyDeleteBrad, you are in my prayers everyday. I love your beautiful writing. I do not love what you are going through and my heart aches. Life is pretty hectic these days but every few days I get a chance to catch up on your blog. May God continue to bless you with beauty and grace in this journey, no matter how difficult it is sometimes. I find your truth and honesty about life right now refreshing and inspiring. Peace to you!
ReplyDeleteHang in there Brad. Sounds like a rough day which means its bound to get better.
ReplyDelete