Forgiveness is an amazing thing isn't it. It often comes at the most unexpected times and is never deserved but has the power to change everything.
I was forgiven yesterday for being a horrible friend. This person certainly did not owe me anything and yet they reached out (which is always a risky proposition) and communicated with me. Funny thing is that I feel worse now then I did before because it is so obvious to me how much I have hurt him and how much was lost.
When I got sick and went though surgery I did a survey of my life and realized that I had cut off connections in my life every time I made a major transition. I had in fact not maintained any relationships that were from prior to my marriage. Thinking back I am sure I had lots of reasons for doing this (none of them good), so when I was laying on the couch recovering from surgery I reached out.
I sent messages to both my HS best friend and my Best Man (a great friend from Seminary).
As of yesterday they have both forgiven me...but have you ever noticed that being forgiven doesn't always make you feel better?
Last night I reflected on how much I had gained from the friendship I once had with my Best Man. He was my roommate in Seminary and made me part of his family (which was huge since i was so far from home), he taught me how to survive the style and social circles of the North East, showed me how to make a gourmet meal on a budget, how to host a party, even helped me learn how to dress up (people from Washington rarely have the need). In many ways he was the older brother I never had.
We also had a great time at the D-Bar, hanging out at Charlie Browns, relaxing in Old Forge, praying together with the prayer group, surviving a stalker, and learning about the physical consequences of bowling in a bathroom (very funny story). I am sure Seminary would have been horribly boring without him as a friend.
I am not the person I once was prior to being diagnosed with ECD (I was much more egotistical, judgmental, and indifferent). This disease has changed me, but I will still have to live with all the things I did prior to getting sick. Yes I am forgiven by the grace of God and by some very amazing people, but I must still live with the hurt I have caused (which makes me sad, not for myself really but for the people i have failed).
I promise this though...
If you are my friend I will cherish every moment with you. Need help moving? Call me (I'll make lunch, I can't really lift anything). Want to get together for coffee? I will clear my schedule and drive 100 miles to meet you. Need help babysitting? I am available. Need to share your burdens? I will help hold them for you. Want to talk? I'm here to listen.
Will this fix everything? No, but its a start.
P.S. Thank you Dave for the photo, it brought back some great memories.
I was forgiven yesterday for being a horrible friend. This person certainly did not owe me anything and yet they reached out (which is always a risky proposition) and communicated with me. Funny thing is that I feel worse now then I did before because it is so obvious to me how much I have hurt him and how much was lost.
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| Best group of guys I have ever met. That's me in red. |
When I got sick and went though surgery I did a survey of my life and realized that I had cut off connections in my life every time I made a major transition. I had in fact not maintained any relationships that were from prior to my marriage. Thinking back I am sure I had lots of reasons for doing this (none of them good), so when I was laying on the couch recovering from surgery I reached out.
I sent messages to both my HS best friend and my Best Man (a great friend from Seminary).
As of yesterday they have both forgiven me...but have you ever noticed that being forgiven doesn't always make you feel better?
Last night I reflected on how much I had gained from the friendship I once had with my Best Man. He was my roommate in Seminary and made me part of his family (which was huge since i was so far from home), he taught me how to survive the style and social circles of the North East, showed me how to make a gourmet meal on a budget, how to host a party, even helped me learn how to dress up (people from Washington rarely have the need). In many ways he was the older brother I never had.
We also had a great time at the D-Bar, hanging out at Charlie Browns, relaxing in Old Forge, praying together with the prayer group, surviving a stalker, and learning about the physical consequences of bowling in a bathroom (very funny story). I am sure Seminary would have been horribly boring without him as a friend.
I am not the person I once was prior to being diagnosed with ECD (I was much more egotistical, judgmental, and indifferent). This disease has changed me, but I will still have to live with all the things I did prior to getting sick. Yes I am forgiven by the grace of God and by some very amazing people, but I must still live with the hurt I have caused (which makes me sad, not for myself really but for the people i have failed).
I promise this though...
If you are my friend I will cherish every moment with you. Need help moving? Call me (I'll make lunch, I can't really lift anything). Want to get together for coffee? I will clear my schedule and drive 100 miles to meet you. Need help babysitting? I am available. Need to share your burdens? I will help hold them for you. Want to talk? I'm here to listen.
Will this fix everything? No, but its a start.
P.S. Thank you Dave for the photo, it brought back some great memories.
Please delete the first comment I sent a few minutes ago. Here is what I meant to write:
ReplyDeleteBrad,
We're trying to plan a reunion retreat in 2014. I hope you can make it! I'll add you to the email thread. (Please send me a current email address.) We're still trying to find a date for the meeting, but it looks like we'll be meeting in Old Forge.
You now have the whole congregation of Crescent Hill Presbyterian Church in Louisville praying for you, your family and your congregation.
Thanks for the "shout-out;" it's the first time I've been mentioned in a blog post! :)
Dave
Brad - I am so glad that you and Mark have reconnected. My warmest wishes for you and Dawnmarie and your children for a joyous Christmas. Floyd joins me in sending our love and in keeping you and your family in our prayers.
ReplyDeleteLiz