Lingchi

Someone asked me recently through the Blog how I was doing, so here's the answer.

Over the last year I have gained back much of the weight I lost when I first got sick. Which is good from a health system perspective but not good news for my pants. I am still limiting my fat intake and not eating pork or beef (ever). I've also not had soda since I first got sick. Who knows if these things are making a difference or not, but I haven't had pancreatitis again so I think I'll stick with whats working.

In the last year the ECD has spread from my abdomen to my testicles (in a related form of the disease called Rosai Dorfman), completely destroying all natural testosterone production. To address this issue I am injecting testosterone every six days with the nastiest looking 2 inch needle I have every seen. The thing is if I don't take the shot I'm tired all the time and insane/moody.

In the last few months I have had to have a growth of ECD removed from my tongue and the most recent MRI showed that the disease is now present in my nasal cavity.

What does it mean? That's the scary part. Who knows. Its like every new piece of information is another cut. It's like Lingchi, the concept that a thousand cuts is a much more horrific way to die then by a single catastrophic event.

Every day I wake up I wonder when the next cut is coming. Now I know I'm supposed to stay positive and if you ask I'll tell you I'm doing just fine...but the truth is the cuts...they hurt.